I’M BACK BITCHES

DID YOU MISS ME

Haha just kidding I KNOW that nobody visits this website YOU DID

How am I gonna herald my triumphant return to this blog? GOOD QUESTION

Let’s talk about how people thinking they want to die is bad

DEPRESSED PEOPLE

We treat them with empathy cause we don’t want em opening their wrists up all over us, I get it, I get it

(STAY WITH ME)

But you CAN just “get over” depression

(STAYYYY WITH ME)

Everyone’s gonna tell you “oh no you can’t just think your way out of depression that’s bullshit”

And it IS BULLSHIT IT IS

You can’t like just THINK and BAM all of a sudden your depression is gone

BUT

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT

You can use your noggin to develop techniques to help you FUCK DEPRESSION UP MY MAN

ok look quick disclamer

there’s 2 kindsa depression, fukn fake depression which is what most people have and actual clinical “Major Depression” which u’ll need a good amount of pills for

ARE WE BACK? OKAY GOOD

Use your noggin to say “if i get depressed i will fuck up my depression”

That’s a good thought, instead what people think is

“I can’t get over my depression it is an unassailable force guess i”ll just ride it out and eat FUKN ICE CREAM ALL DAY” SHIT THAT SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD LET ME DEPRESSED PLEASE

that is a joke i am please help me

HAHA WHATS THIS GUY EVEN TALKNNNNNNNNNNN ABOUT

So look.

Look.

Look, it’s 3 am, look.

When someone tells a depressed person “snap out of it” our societal instinct is to LAUGH AT THE STUPID MOFO SAYN “SNAP OUT OF IT”

Because we think you cant’ snap out of depression

I don’t fucking know if you can or not actually stop reading this blog post. I just tagged it as every category on my website, including Uncategorized, what are you gonna do about it? Huh? That’s what I thought.

I’m 5/8ths peppercorn chip and banana DNA. What about you, huh? Did you think this would be coherent? You want me to make an argument? Fuck you I don’t owe you anything.

I want to be a rock. You know, rocks dont really feel much do they? They can get trampled on all day and fuck shit this is depressing again

My swearing probably isn’t endearing. In the futuer I’m going to asterisks out all my f*cking swearing okay? I’m sorry.

*Fuckign10/10* listen

I saw a thing. It was fucki*g dumb.

It was “this is what depression feels like” and it was like a

Like, it was a woman sitting in a bathtub she pulled the plug and all the water drained around her or something and it was like “this is depression”

THATS P FUNNY

cuz it’s P INACCURATE

but nobody really knows how to describe depression, all i’m saying is you know take a dead fish and rub it against your face, THAT’S depression

the point is you shouldn’t call yourself depressed because then your brain latches onto the feeling and instead you get sad and tired and depressed more easily instead deny your feelings and repress them

That’s a great lead-up into my next piece called “Suck It Up”

what kind of dog are you

hey welcome to what kind of dog are you hope you have fun figuring out what kind of dog you are maybe you'll be golden retriever maybe poodle lol who knows

Do you like animals?
Do animals like you?

A List Of Accomplishments I Keep Telling Myself Mean Something

Let’s be real, you don’t care about my accomplishments. Instead of giving a long preamble about how and why I made each thing and how it became successful I’ll just spew out jot notes about each thing:
The Twist: A Parody–My first big writing accomplishment, I wrote this when I was fourteen and it was published on Creepypasta when I was fifteen. It became the most up voted story ever on Crappypasta, won the best Crappypasta award, and inspired this 60000 view video.

Chef the Griller–My next Creepypasta written at 16 inspired another 60000 view video, albeit in Portuguese. This one stood out from my last in that it could be enjoyed as unironic horror. Both inspired dozens of poorly made spin-offs that I’ll spare you from viewing.

Depression Flowchart–Clearly if one wishes to become internet famous, one must only appeal to the (apparently very many) depressed people of the world. The depression flowchart got over half a million views on imgur, made front page of reddit and was blatantly stolen by many a content-aggregator.

Slam Poetry

Poison Touch–Won an Ottawa/Gatineau-area contest about the ocean by taking an apocalyptic angle. My poem was published in a podcast and performed by me here. My part is introduced at 20:54 and I actually start reading at 21:59. This one was pretty monumental for me, as it’s the first time I made money off voice acting.

Other Awards–This slam won a consent-based art contest, this slam won runner-up for a University-wide poetry competition.

My Valedictorian Speech

Volunteer Work

I also do volunteer work for organizations like Apartment 613 and the Capital Ukrainian Festival. Here are some of my book reviews for the good ol’ 613th Apartment:

Laurie Stewart’s A Test of Loyalty    Kevin T. Johns’ The Page Turners.

A Preview of a Game Expo

My Book

But why’s this website called Inbreak anyways? Well that would be because my first novel, Inbreak, was the reason I first started the site. Now the writing is rather imperfect by my standards today but honestly for a buck you’re not missing out on much. I published Inbreak when I was 16. You can read the first four chapters here. You can tell by that title page you’re signing up for Kwality with a capital C.