Everything terrifies and depresses me. Healthy relationships are swallowed up in complex complexes. Inferiority? Superiority? Both simultaneously? Not simultaneously. More consecutive. Alternating, re-alternating.
I’m scared I’m scared I’m scared. Of? Dying, ugly. My beauty will have faded away with no fame to speak of. Beat beat beat
This is not a natural fear. It is insanity. You are contemplative, caught up in a torrent of extremes. We gawk at extremes. The extremes become the norm. The norm becomes boring. Breathe breath.
I see other happy people. I’m not sure if they’re happy.
I’m still jealous of them. Jealous and spiteful. Jealous and unhappy.
It’s a welling in the pit of my stomach with no discernible cause, that good relations can qualm but not kill.
Every passing second is a regret.
In other news, popcorn: best with seasoning, or without?